Ugly legs

The other evening my mom was reading the latest edition of Ladies Home Journal. She announced to Greg and I that a woman in the magazine had really ugly legs.

"I never really notice legs," she said, "but I couldn't help but notice these. They're really ugly. I can't believe she's even showing her legs, they're so ugly."

Greg and I shrugged and went on watching the hockey game on TV.

At the next break, she grabbed the magazine, opened it up to the picture in question, and handed it to Greg saying, "He's a man. Let's see what he has to say. Now doesn't she have ugly legs?"

Greg took the magazine, hesitating but curious, and put on his reading glasses so he could get a good look. He was expecting varicose veins, bruises, scars, something really horrifying.

"You'd better say yes," I whispered. "You'd better agree with her."

"Hmmm," he said as he looked at the photo. There was Sally Field, a middle-aged actress sitting on a loveseat with her legs curled up next to her. Nothing like what he expected.

I held my breath.

"Well, I think she's got nice legs," Greg commented, "especially for her age. Her legs are great." I cringed as he handed me the magazine.

My mom was stunned. "You're just saying that," she said defensively. "You're just saying that because you're afraid to tell the truth! You're afraid of her!" She pointed at me. "You won't tell the truth because she might get mad at you!"

Greg and I both started laughing. "I told you to just agree with her," I whispered again.

"What are so bad about her legs?" I asked her.

"They're so...uh...muscley."

"But that's what people like in legs these days. Toned. Muscled. She obviously works out and takes care of herself," I responded.

"Yuck!" she retorted. "I don't like them!"

I remember some comments from my dad when he was still alive about someone having "dancer's legs". That wasn't a compliment back then.

Things change. Some people don't. It's not worth arguing about.